


What They Can Never Take Away

by butterflyslinky



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:12:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6815662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/pseuds/butterflyslinky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has made his choice. Steve doesn't want him to go. (A missing scene from Captain America: Civil War.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What They Can Never Take Away

“You understand what I am offering?”

Bucky nods, his eyes downcast. Steve looks at him incredulously.

“Bucky, you aren’t a criminal,” Steve insists. “I mean…”

“Steve.” Bucky looks up. “I’ve thought about it. A lot. And…”

Steve takes a few deep breaths and turns to T’Challa. “Can we have a few minutes alone?”

T’Challa studies them. “You will not try to escape?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m tired of running.”

T’Challa glances at Steve, who nods. “You’ve been more than good to us.”

T’Challa nods back. “Take as long as you need.” He turns and leaves the room, bolting it from the outside. Steve doesn’t blame him.

Steve sits down on the bed next to Bucky. They’ve been given a comfortable room for their stay in Wakanda, but Steve knows it’s really designed as a prison. Just in case.

He leans his head on what’s left of Bucky’s shoulder out of habit. Bucky twitches like he wants to throw his arm over Steve but then remembers and sighs, running his hand through his hair.

“I gotta do this, Stevie.”

Steve sighs, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist. “Why?” he asked. “We can get you help…I know people, smart people, they can help you, fix your arm…”

“Who? Stark? Banner? Got a line to Dr. Strange over there?”

“You’re not a criminal.” Steve will keep repeating it until the day he dies. “You shouldn’t be held responsible.”

Bucky’s quiet for a long time. “It was me,” he said. “Maybe I couldn’t control it, but it was me…it’s part of me now.”

“Bucky…”

“Steve.” Bucky nudges Steve gently off of him so they can face each other. “I’ve spent the last two years on my own. And I know two years doesn’t sound like a lot when you’re pushing a hundred, but it’s enough time to do some research. Moment I’d shaken free enough, I started looking at stuff…the stuff Romanov leaked. And…and I found what they did…I’ve been trying to combat it. I’ve been trying to cure myself, I’ve done everything that I can find to do…nothing works. It’s still in there. It’s still part of me.”

Steve stares at Bucky for several minutes, studying every part of him. “I lost you,” he says. “I spent five years here by myself, thinking everyone I knew was either dead or too old to remember me. I met new people…I made friends…but I could never let go of you.”

Bucky raises his hand and strokes Steve’s cheek. “It’s okay,” he says. “I…” He breaks off, choking down a sob. “I’ve made my choice, Stevie. I don’t want to hurt people anymore. I don’t want to be a criminal. I don’t want people to hate me. But until we can be really, truly sure how to fix this…I can’t be out there. Not even just here in Wakanda. I couldn’t ask T’Challa to both lead his people and keep me on a leash, and I can’t risk being left on my own again.”

“You spent two years on your own and didn’t hurt anyone,” Steve argues.

Bucky looks down. “Maybe not,” he admits. “But…there was always the possibility that I _could._ What they did…it’s not ordinary hypnosis. It can’t be broken by normal means.” He looks back at Steve. “I’m not doing this to punish myself. I’m doing it because…because it’s easier on all of us for now.”

Steve nods. They stare at each other for a long moment before Bucky’s lips quirk in a small smile. “I’ve been back with you for a week,” Bucky points out.

“Yeah?”

“You never said hello.”

Steve raises his eyebrows. “I guess I didn’t,” he says. “Wasn’t really time before we had to run.”

“You gonna do it now?”

Steve smiles and wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist again. “Hello, Buck,” he whispers, and then kisses him.

It’s soft at first, shy and uncertain like it’s their first time all over again—and in a way, it is. But it’s familiar, and it doesn’t take too long for them to get the hang of it. Apparently HYDRA brainwashing isn’t enough to erase Bucky’s muscle memory, because he bites on Steve’s lip the way he used to, runs his hand through Steve’s hair as usual, and when Steve pulls Bucky down by his shirt, Bucky falls like it’s the most natural thing in the world, landing on top of Steve without fear of crushing him this time. They’re a little clumsy getting out of their clothes, both from Bucky’s lack of a hand and the need to keep kissing, but they manage soon enough and Bucky bites on Steve’s neck and Steve _moans_ , so loud Bucky knows that the guards outside can hear it, and he doesn’t care, he’s already died and been remade and died again. Let them think whatever they like. Bucky needs this.

Steve palms at Bucky’s cock and Bucky whines, oversensitive from years of disuse and then they’re rutting together and it’s too fast and Bucky’s head is spinning from it, from all the love and need and lust and he can’t take it, can’t sort through all the emotions. But that’s all right. He doesn’t want to sort through his emotions. He wants to feel them, especially since he doesn’t know when he’ll get another chance.

Bucky leans closer to Steve, kissing him again and getting his hand between them, rubbing and stroking at Steve and Steve’s doing the same for him and pulling him closer and—!

Bucky moans and spills over Steve’s hand. He tries to keep himself from collapsing purely out of habit, forgetting for the moment that he doesn’t have a hand. He falls on top of Steve gracelessly. Steve doesn’t mind. He can bear that weight now. He just keeps kissing Bucky’s neck and cheek, shoving his hips up into Bucky’s lax hand. But Bucky recovers and starts moving again and it doesn’t take long for Steve to cum with a sigh of Bucky’s name.

It takes a moment of heavy breathing for Bucky to roll off of Steve. Steve rolls over as well and wraps his arms around Bucky, laying his head on Bucky’s chest like he always had when they were kids. And Bucky curses Tony Stark, quietly, because he wants to wrap Steve up in his arms like he used to, wants to shield him from the world, and it doesn’t matter that Steve is now 6’5” and built like a brick shithouse, it doesn’t matter that Steve is Captain America and fights monsters every day without being phased by it, he’s still _Steve_ and Bucky knows he’s still vulnerable and scared and needs protecting.

And that was the thing. The one thing that HYDRA could never take away.

_Protect Steve._

He couldn’t kill Steve when under their control. He can’t kill Steve now.

But he can still kill other people.

It doesn’t take long for Steve to fall asleep. Bucky knew that it wouldn’t. He waits until Steve’s breathing is calm and natural before he quietly slips out of bed. He dresses quickly and quietly before going over and knocking quietly on the door to signal that he’s ready to come out.

The door is unlocked and Bucky steps outside, placing a finger to his lips to indicate to the guards to be quiet. They raise their eyebrows at him, but say nothing. They close the door, but don’t lock it this time. One of them turns to Bucky. “I will take you to His Highness,” she says.

Bucky nods and follows her to another room. T’Challa is waiting at a table laden with fresh fruit. “Have you and the Captain made an agreement?” he asks.

“Yes,” Bucky says. “He knows why I want to do this and he won’t argue.”

T’Challa nods. “We can wait for him to wake up,” he says with a slight smirk. “Until then, would you like something to eat?”

“I would,” Bucky says.

T’Challa smiles and offers Bucky a plum.


End file.
